366 days ago!

One full year has passed and to think of the very date..the 14th may 2007 gives me a feeling I still cannot comprehend as till that disaster happened I as a totally different person..a person who never questioned anything but accepted everything as they came to me…
At the precise time..00:00 my watch beeped and I was sleepless …on my bed in a room cooled by the ac still I was sweating …when the sun’s rays touched me I knew that the result of my 14 years of study would come alive and the route of my future would materialize…yes it was the day when my 12th results were about to be announced

As befitting the occasion I woke up earlier than usual ,even went to the temple and prayed. Everyone were astonished….my family knew me as a care-free guy who has the complete confidence on himself..never cared about a result and stuff..but me goin to a temple was something very new to my people given my laziness!

The government’s awareness about things are not at the best and their idea of punctuality comes under the same category..the results scheduled to be out by 830 was finally out by 12:00 noon…and when I got to see them all that was left for me was the sympathetic glances of my friends,”it’s ok..you prepared for the entrances also “ from relatives and parents and many other not so pleasant compliments…I was left shattered …sorry I forgot to say what happened

My scores read as:

English : 184

Tamil: 150

Maths : 194

Chemistry :183

Physics : 189

Comp.sci:190

Total: 1089

I started hearing my people speaking about rates to seats in different colleges…and stuff it left me in a very awkward position…I was very cool about my studies as I was always confident that I would never leave my parents in this situation..but that was not to be true at the most crucial juncture..all my calculations had backfired..all the hours I had spent when my friends had studied …all those hours spent watching Dravid’s centuries again and again tugged at the bottom of my heart .A guilty feeling that I was totally new to… i was in an inconsolable state. I never spoke ,smiled,ate for around 2 days..that was till when my dad spoke to me.

Im really thankful to god now as I tell you without my parents’ support nothing would have happened as it has now..they were the ones who encouraged me to look beyond the state board books into the entrance exams…the ones who gave my otherwise aimless life an direction and yet in a totally non-forceful way.When my dad spoke I felt as if I had aged by 2 years ..nearly turned an atheist as I tell you my scores below par for anyone who is supposed to be good…and I was…

The same encouraging…chill-nothing’s lost-attitude of my dad surprised me…Finally he asked me “are sure you did your exams better than this?” my immediate answer was a yes …the next day my dad was applying for the Xerox copies of my papers when they came and when I went to my teachers to identify any places where I can get marks…I found that I would get a lot more…I never felt the relief that I had done much better than what I thought …but angry at the examiners to have been so careless with the future of a person how many futures were played with? How many Aravinds are going around cursing their luck? In this competitive scenario where one mark can mean more than 1000 ranks is this what we want? Given the authority I would have personally sacked the teacher and sued him…its for his mistake im paying a 1000 rupees per paper…and I do it with anxiety and im not even sure that justice would be done even then..does this scenario augur well?
When and how will this be changed..? these questions sound rhetoric to me..Idiots! is all I can I say for those idiots who value the paper and the ones in power …valuing a student’s future with what has happened in a span of a mere 3 hours…that wont and cant change though..

Eventually due to my parents’ constant persistence I applied for re-eveluation and got a 195 in chemistry and 194 in physics …a whooping difference of 17 marks…though I welcome the marks I still shudder at the thought of what has happened in between the two events …actually now my board marks are nothing more than a mere number..still imagine a person for whom this is the thing which matters…
We live in a sick world where the ones at fault call the shots and don’t give a damn to a student’s future its just a bundle of scrap and a matter of a few bucks for that paper…im not going to commend a teacher who does the evaluation methodically as its just their duty.. its time things changed and lets think of something that at least leaves out this suffering for our juniors!!